Time for What?

Since parents have so little time to spare, what is the solution? There are no simple answers. Nothing can change the reality that this world has made child rearing a very difficult task. Some parents may be able to pull back on the career front. One author of a recent book on child care urges any parent who can to do just that—stay at home with the children. But for many parents, there is no such option. And even those with a flexible work schedule or those who hold no paying job still find it hard to spend enough time with their children.

Some experts urge parents to look at the work they do around the home, such as cleaning, cooking, maintenance, auto care, laundry, and shopping, to see whether they could do some of these tasks with their children. Working together on even the most mundane chores, or just relaxing together, may offer parents the time they need to keep open the lines of communication and provide a positive example.

Talk

Talk about your day, their day, what you are going to do, what you are seeing on the street, what they are watching on television, what they like to do, your childhood, their relatives, their toys.

Play

Sit with them while they play, and talk to them about what they are doing.

Listen

Look at their faces when they are telling you something. If it seems important to them, stop what you are doing and sit down with them to hear it.

Quiet Time

Sit with them while they watch TV (this can be painful but important) or while they are getting ready for bed.

Share

Invite them to do something or go somewhere with you, to show you enjoy their company.

These examples give us a variety of ways to spend time with our children. We can join them in what they are doing, invite them to join in what we are doing, or do something alongside them, in parallel, talking together or just being quiet together.

Special Time for Each One.

Each child in the family needs to have special time with each parent. It doesn't have to be a vast amount of time, or have to happen every day. But each of our children is different, and will want to have a chance to be alone with each of us. When you get right down to it sibling rivalry is competition for the parents' attention. Individual "special" time given to each child can lead to a lot less fighting among them.

Christian parents have other work that they will want to do with their children at their sides. Christian meetings, the ministry, family Bible study, association with fellow believers—all of these provide parents crucial time to be with their children. When it comes to spending time with their children, they must resist easy answers. The old saying, “It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality,” does not apply in child rearing. Especially during their formative years, children need not only special time but also just “together” time.