Dealing with Your Teenager and the Latest Fashion Trends

Are you the parent of a teenager? If you are, you likely already know that many teens want to look their best, at least fashion wise. For that reason, many teens keep up on the latest fashion tends and use them. While this is okay in some aspects, it can result in your teenager wearing baggy pants showing their boxers or revealing shirts that show off too much cleavage. While these do seem to be popular fashion trends, do you really want your child displaying them? If not, you may be wondering what you should do.

When it comes to your teenager and fashion trends that you may not necessarily approve of, your first thought may be to lay down the law. As a parent, this is your right to do, but did you know that you may actually end up causing more damage? Do you remember what it was like being a teenager? If you were like most teenagers, there was a good chance that the last thing you wanted was to be told how to dress by your parents and the same is likely so for your own teen. That is why you may want to think about taking a different approach.

One of the many instances where you should speak to your child about their fashions is if it may end up causing them some harm. As previously mentioned, many of the latest fashion trends for women and for girls are low cut shirts and low rise pants. This often ends up leaving a good portion of the body exposed. In today’s society, you always need to be on the lookout for sexual predators. While your teenager may not necessarily be interested in someone, someone may actually end up getting that type feeling from them. This could put your teenager in a weird and possibly dangerous situation. If that is the case, you may want to take the time to explain that, as it may sink in better than if you were just to say “change your clothes; you can’t wear that.”

It is also important that both you and your teenager remember that fashion trends regularly change. It is not uncommon for a fashion trend to only last a few months. If you are not happy with the current fashion trends, but your teenagers are, you may want to encourage them to explore other options. There are a number of fashion magazines and online fashion websites that have a large number of fashion trends and information on those trends. Not all fashion trends require the wearing of “skimpy,” clothing. For that reason, you may want to explore other options. If your teenager is a girl, it could actually turn into a neat mother daughter bonding experience between the two of you.

Something else that you may not necessarily think about, but should, is if your child goes to high school. Many high schools have dress codes and these dress codes often prohibit the wearing of revealing clothing. While not all schools actively enforce their dress codes, many out there do. Like with being told not wear certain clothes by their parents, many teenagers may feel angered being told by school officials. For that reason, you may want to take action before anything serious happens that could seriously jeopardize your child and their school records. It is not uncommon to hear of instances where children are suspended from school due to not following the school’s dress code.

In short, teenagers and fashion are something that just seems to click together. While it is important for your teenager to fit in with others and be popular at school, they do not necessarily have to be wearing the “hottest,” clothes or fashion accessories to do so. They may not necessarily understand it at the time, but as a parent it is your job to help them and keep them safe.

Cute Baby Clothes

Ah, a new addition to the family! What a joy and delightful occasion. These are truly exciting times ahead for the new daddy and mommy. There are just so much that needs to be done before and after the arrival of the new baby into the family. Whether we are doing this for the very first time or second or third, we can never say that we are ready. One of the tasks that need to be address is the purchasing of baby clothes.

There is the need in striking a balance between practical and cute, fashionable and comfortable, need and impulse, and night and day can all play their part in affecting decisions on what baby clothes to buy, and in what quantity. One of the anxieties that always plagues parent's mind in choosing baby clothes are the fact that babies grow so quickly. You do not necessarily buy to fit now, but fit for the next few months if at all possible.

Though there may be many designs and fashion for baby wear out there, you will need to pay more than the usual attention when selecting the night wear or sleepwear. The baby sleepwear will likely outweigh the other categories such as daytime clothes or clothes for going out, as sleeping is what babies spend most of their time doing in the early stages. But how do you decide what numbers to buy of each? Well, that may depend on how often you want to do laundry, but you will soon find a level that suits both your routine and the level of cleanliness and smartness you want for your baby.

By the way, these cute baby clothes also serves as great gifts for baby showers or just a gift to say, "You are special." There are hats and cute logos to make your baby stand out and create a buzz out there!

Kangaroo Mother Care

In some countries, the survival rate of premature babies is alarmingly low. So there is a method devised that is called "kangaroo mother care." Babies with low birth weights are often placed in the warm environment of an incubator, where they remain until they have gained weight. However in some areas, overcrowded facilities, poor sanitation, and a shortage of medical personnel and equipment often result in dangerous cross infections.



So what is this kangaroo mother care and how does it work? When a baby is born prematurely, it is cared for in the standard way until its condition stabilizes. In the meantime, the mother receives training in child care. When the baby is sufficiently healthy, the mother becomes a living incubator. This is done by keeping her baby close to her, wrapped vertically with baby slings between her breasts. Safe in its kangaroolike pouch, the baby stays warm and can easily be fed its mother’s milk. Hence, the method is often called kangaroo mother care.

Of course with these comfortable and stylish baby slings, it is still suitable for use even when the child has grown to approximately 35 lbs.

Infant Massage

Infant massage is common in many lands, and it is becoming popular in some Western countries. According to the Spanish Association for Infant Massage, a massage is a subtle, tender, and pleasant technique that enables a parent to communicate physically and emotionally with the baby. It includes a series of gentle yet firm strokes of the baby's feet and legs as well as the back, chest, stomach, arms, and face. Massage is an excellent way to tone up a baby's muscles and make it feel relaxed. While massaging the baby, mommies can sing and talk to the baby, and she will gurgles and smiles back. It is a wonderful experience!

A newborn not only needs to be fed but also needs to receive parental affection. Since the sense of touch develops early in life, gentle massaging by the mother or father communicates love in a tangible way. Much information can be transmitted to a baby through the sense of touch. Massaging can thus cement a bond of affection between parents and their baby right from birth.

Apart from expressing love, massage may teach a baby to relax, which may contribute to longer sound sleep and less stress. Massage may also help to tone muscles as well as regulate the circulatory, digestive, and respiratory systems. Some claim that the infant's immune system benefits too. And because the baby's senses of touch, sight, and sound are stimulated, massage may also encourage memory and learning.

Is home schooling better than formal education?

Home schooling is somewhat still a revolutionary thing in the part of the world that I am living in. I have been personally brought up through the formal education way which consists of 2 years of kindergarten, 6 years of primary school and 5 compulsory years of secondary school. Nevertheless, there have been more and more exposure or perhaps I should say more choices available now with computers and Internet at the tip of one's fingers. The Internet can be the gateway to knowledge that is.

Being a private or personal tutor to students for more than a decade now, I would say that most kids need personal attention rather than a classroom setting. Many parents were complaining that their children are neglected in their studies and they cannot cope nor catch up with the syllabus or rather parents most were actually more worried that their children are "learning" undesirable traits from peers instead of the teacher. Then there is also the fear of the child's safety which is a real concern these days, with sexual predators and kidnappers out there.

Sometimes, parents choose home schooling for educational rather than ideological reasons. They are fed up with overcrowded classrooms, low academic standards, and safety problems prevalent in many public schools. Disappointed by the often lackluster results of institutional teaching, they believe that they can help their children more by giving the one-on-one attention that home schooling makes possible.

Home schooling also makes it possible to integrate the family's daily activity in the child's education. Instead of using textbooks only, daily experiences such as shopping and checkbook balancing, for example, can help their students comprehend money management, while home repairs make for an excellent primer in measurement. This way the child can see the practicality of the lessons learned.

Do parents need high credentials to qualify as good teachers? . “Parents need not know all the answers in order to encourage their children to seek after answers to their own questions,” says the book Home Schooling—Answering Questions. Children can be directed to appropriate source materials. Parents and children can learn together. And where advanced training or expertise is required, private tutors can be hired on a part-time basis.

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Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards

One of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.

In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.

For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don't work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.

For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.

This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.

Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, "We got a D in that class."

I've thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don't share. What I do say is, "Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?"

The point is that at some time - the earlier the better - school must become more important to your child than it is to you.

Having laid out these two basic principles, let's look at some solutions for handling a less than exciting report card.

1) You'll want to meet with the teacher of a class in which your child has done poorly. You should ask the teacher: What he thinks might be in the way of your child doing well in this subject; does she think your child has the tools to do well in this class; how are other kids of equal ability doing in this class; what does he recommend your child (notice, not we) do to improve in this class?

2) Learn how to read a report card. There is much more information there than just grades. There's also conduct and attendance to check out. Look for patterns. If your kid got a good grade and great conduct in one class and poor grades and bad conduct in another, take a look at what the differences are between those two classes. Obviously, the child has the ability in one class. What's in the way in the other?

3) Often kids will blame the teacher. "She doesn't like me!" This is an opportunity to teach real-world living in which not all people, bosses included, are going to like you. At the same time, you still need to know how to do well in a situation, even when there are people who don't like you.

4) Here's a little trick of the trade: Determine which class comes right before your child's lunch period. If grades, attendance and conduct are significantly different after lunch than before, the next question is what's happening at lunch that is getting in the way?

5) Make two copies of your child's report card _ one for you and one for your child. Draw a horizontal line to the right of each letter grade. Next to the end of that line, write the next letter grade up. For example, if the grade is an F, write a D. If it's a D, write a C, and so on. These one-step-up grades are the goals for the next grading period.

This may sound like settling for less, but it really is not. It gives your child a manageable goal to reach. Over a couple of grading periods, this strategy can move low grades to high grades. If they go higher than the goal, then that's a good thing. If they go lower than the goal, it's time for some consequences.

6) It's been my experience that grounding a kid for the entire grading period is in most cases counterproductive. For adults, nine weeks is not that long. For kids, however, it's forever, and you get rapidly diminishing returns.

Instead, start with strong consequences, and then as effort, behavior and grades improve, let the rope out a little at a time, just enough for them to grow themselves.

It's also useful to link grades to something that is important to them. As one father said to me last year, "In our family, Ds don't drive."

For more leading edge tips and tools for back to school success, you are invited to visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's BacktoSchoolSuccess.com

Are Parents Trying Too Hard?

One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller families is that we now have a generation of parents who are willing to go to enormous lengths to give their children a good start in life.

In the rush to ensure that children have a maximum amount of experiences many parents ferry children from one lesson to another after school and on weekends. This busyness of life takes its toll on children and on families as homes are required to run like clockwork and meals are thrown down between lessons. "To hell with shared mealtime I have to pick up little Jessica from tennis lessons and drop her off at ballet classes" is the mantra of many modern parents.

The self-improvement industry for children is currently thriving, with a staggering variety of programs on offer to children from as young as three. Ballet classes, music lessons, and toddler gymnastics ? the lessons go on. Don't worry if your children become stressed attending all these lessons. There are stress management classes available to help them relax and unwind. We pay quite a price for keeping our kids busy for the sake of getting a winning edge!

Parents are well versed in the knowledge that early childhood is an important developmental stage for children. Positive early experiences influence how a child see him or herself and, as teachers know, assist greatly with the learning process once they start school. But parents need to be careful not to confuse an early start with a good start and place too much pressure on children at a young age. Pull back rather than push ahead is a message we need to send to the parents of today's pressure-cooker kids.

It also seems that many parents are in danger of becoming redundant as they are outsourcing much of their parenting to experts. Parents need to have a little faith that the time that they spend with young children is actually beneficial in giving them the good start in life that they are looking for. The recent trend for primary aged children to have a personal trainer (I kid you not!) to ensure they stay fit and healthy is an example of parents taking this outsourcing too far. It seems that it would be more beneficial for the whole family to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle, than hire a trainer to give kids a workout.

So why does the move to smaller families place pressure on parents and children? Parenting is something that is learned from experience. With families reducing in size the pressure is on for parents to get their parenting right from the start ? there is little opportunity to grow into the job.

It is timely to remember that a good start for children involves plenty of positive adult attention and regard, consistency of approach, the development of the skills to look after themselves, and the wherewithal to help others. These are all things that parents are well qualified to do.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?

Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret it ten minutes later?

Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how well-behaved our kids or placid and patient we are. At times the general strains and stresses of life wear us down so our emotional responses don't match children's behaviours. Or rather, their less than perfect behaviour doesn't warrant the 'screaming banshee' response that you have provided.

So what do you do if you have blown your top and given your children an absolute verbal blast with steam coming out of both your ears?

First, check that your rare outburst of anger is just that ? rare. If you are always angry or over-reacting then this is a fair sign that all is not right with you. I don't want to state the bleeding obvious, but constant sudden outbursts of anger are a sign that all is not right with the world. It may mean taking a break, getting some additional help with your kids or even getting some professional counselling to sort out internal or relationship issues.

If your outburst is rare rather than pathological then the best response is to show your children that your are human and apologise. Put a little time between your outburst and your apology and consider giving an explanation. "Sorry about yelling at you guys. I have been working so hard lately. I guess I need a break."

No need to grovel, just reveal your human side to your family. Your children will take their cues from you and will more than likely talk on an emotional level if they see you go to the same space. Revealing your vulnerability gives children permission to reveal theirs.

It is a good anger management practice to check your own anger levels from time to time. When you know you are under stress and feel yourself about to blow your top- take a break, phone someone up (and vent your spleen, if possible), or just to count to 20 (or 100) before you blow your stack unnecessarily to your kids.

There is a place for parent anger in the discipline process ? as long as it is controlled. There are the times when children really need to know they have crossed a line and your whole voice and attitude needs to convey that a behaviour is unacceptable. Most parents will know the type of response I am referring to. The voice goes steely and the words come out purposefully. Eye contact is strong and body language is direct. The kids aren't frightened. They just know that that their mum or dad mean what they say! Gulp! It is the type of response that should be saved for times when children put each other down unmercilessly, or when they show gross disrespect to themselves, others or their environment.

We all want to steer clear from angry responses when we interact with those we love. But being human means that our behaviour doesn't always reach the lofty heights that we would like, and at times we lose our cool. So recognise the signs of pending anger and take steps to manage it, and if you do lose the plot, reveal your vulnerability and apologise. Nothing wrong with that!

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

Biblical Source: Harsh Words, Crush Spirits

Working Moms: Too Busy for Your Children?

17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of Love

Most moms appreciate being acknowledged, but many still feel overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life. They would like to fit more time with their children into their busy schedules, but don't know how.

The solution may be easier than you imagine.

The most important thing you can do for your child is to create and nurture a strong, loving relationship between the two of you.

Here are 17 easy ways to strengthen your connection with your child:

The good news is: they don't take much time.

Always smile when your child comes in the room. Hug at least once a day. For older children and teens, who may be embarrassed, do it in private. Try telling them YOU are the one who needs it. Schedule time every day to connect with your child - to talk about how their day went or perhaps read together or play a short game of his or her choice. Regularity is more important than length of time.Include your children in your daily activities: Let them help in the kitchen or the garden, but keep the atmosphere light and the conversation easy - no scolding or criticizing. Make up poems or stories together - taking turns adding a line.Laughs are guaranteed. Use words of encouragement rather than criticism. If your child needs correcting, do it gently, in a way that teaches, without scolding or put-downs.Ask your children's opinions often - about little things and also more important issues. Let them know you value their ideas. Watch TV programs together that will help your children to learn about life, then ask their opinion and talk about the issues from the show. Speak to them with courtesy: Say "Please" and "Thank you," and use kind words.Apologize when you have been wrong. Show them we all make mistakes.Write a note to let them know you're thinking about them ? perhaps with a joke or funny message - and hide it in their lunch box, book bag or a dresser drawer. Don't expect them to be perfect. Forgive easily ? then gently help them learn from their mistakes. Let your children over-hear you praising them to someone else. Create a bed-time ritual. It may include reading a story or poem, saying a prayer, remembering loved ones, talking about the day, singing a song, making funny faces or anything that helps you end the day in a positive way. As you are falling asleep, think of something you appreciate about your child. Feel your love, and send some of it silently to your child. Sweet dreams. For a free e-book, "How to Get the Best from Your Children," and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: www.feelgoodparenting.com. Pat and Larry Downing of Asheville, NC, have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child." Copyright © 2005 by Patricia Downing PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

Time for What?

Since parents have so little time to spare, what is the solution? There are no simple answers. Nothing can change the reality that this world has made child rearing a very difficult task. Some parents may be able to pull back on the career front. One author of a recent book on child care urges any parent who can to do just that—stay at home with the children. But for many parents, there is no such option. And even those with a flexible work schedule or those who hold no paying job still find it hard to spend enough time with their children.

Some experts urge parents to look at the work they do around the home, such as cleaning, cooking, maintenance, auto care, laundry, and shopping, to see whether they could do some of these tasks with their children. Working together on even the most mundane chores, or just relaxing together, may offer parents the time they need to keep open the lines of communication and provide a positive example.

Talk

Talk about your day, their day, what you are going to do, what you are seeing on the street, what they are watching on television, what they like to do, your childhood, their relatives, their toys.

Play

Sit with them while they play, and talk to them about what they are doing.

Listen

Look at their faces when they are telling you something. If it seems important to them, stop what you are doing and sit down with them to hear it.

Quiet Time

Sit with them while they watch TV (this can be painful but important) or while they are getting ready for bed.

Share

Invite them to do something or go somewhere with you, to show you enjoy their company.

These examples give us a variety of ways to spend time with our children. We can join them in what they are doing, invite them to join in what we are doing, or do something alongside them, in parallel, talking together or just being quiet together.

Special Time for Each One.

Each child in the family needs to have special time with each parent. It doesn't have to be a vast amount of time, or have to happen every day. But each of our children is different, and will want to have a chance to be alone with each of us. When you get right down to it sibling rivalry is competition for the parents' attention. Individual "special" time given to each child can lead to a lot less fighting among them.

Christian parents have other work that they will want to do with their children at their sides. Christian meetings, the ministry, family Bible study, association with fellow believers—all of these provide parents crucial time to be with their children. When it comes to spending time with their children, they must resist easy answers. The old saying, “It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality,” does not apply in child rearing. Especially during their formative years, children need not only special time but also just “together” time.

“Quality Time” Doled Out in Limited Quantities

How Do We Know that Children Need So Much Time?

- The more you give, the more they want.

- If they don't get it, they behave badly to try to get it.

Our children will need us, love us and want us more than we can imagine. We give them their sense of belonging, and security. Children can crave this so much that when it's not given naturally and spontaneously, they will behave in what ever ways they think they have to in order to get it.

As it is generally understood, quality time usually involves scheduling some time to spend with a child, often with a specific activity in mind—a special outing, for instance, such as a trip to the zoo. Clearly, the notion has merit. Children need any special attention they can get. However, the popular concept of quality time has some drawbacks that are becoming more obvious to experts in child care.

Apparently, many busy, career-oriented parents have adopted the beguiling notion that spending a structured, scheduled bit of time with a child will take care of all the child’s needs for parental attention. Thus, the New York Daily News quotes Dr. Lee Salk, a professor at Cornell University Medical School in the United States, as saying: “The concept of quality time is nonsense.” He explains: “The term has grown out of parental guilt. People were giving themselves permission to spend less time with their children.”

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?

For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don't know. My point in all of this is how important this really is.

The term "spending time with your child" gets tossed out there fairly casually. We hear it so often that after awhile we may not take it as seriously as we should. There's no getting away from this simple truth. If you do not give them very much of your time, talking, laughing, playing, and sharing things or just generally being around listening to and enjoying them, how can they possibly get any other message than that they are not worthy of your love, time, and attention? How can they then progress to love themselves if they perceive that you always put yourself and others first, before them, and that they are apparently incidental to your life, even that they are a nuisance?

Please note that I said "they perceive". What a child perceives is not always accurate. But to a child perception is reality. If they think this is how you feel, then to them, this is how you feel. This is why I think the time you spend with your child is so important. I know how much you love your child. You know how much you love you child. What's so critical is does your child know how much you love your child? Our children need us to be interested in them and to demonstrate our love for them by spending time with them right through adolescence.

“Listen, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah. And you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force. And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. And you must tie them as a sign upon your hand, and they must serve as a frontlet band between your eyes; and you must write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates."--Deuteronomy 6:4-9