When it comes to our weight and the appearance of our bodies, most of us are concerned about one thing or another. We have a hard time fitting into our clothes and we want to do something about it. Hard work and dedication usually work the best, but somehow we are fascinated by the easy way out.
Dieting is not supposed to be easy, but many of us will do what we can to make it easy on ourselves. There are more diet plans than ever before, each one promising more results with less work. You'll see from diet pill infomercials that these pills work for anyone wanting to lose weight and get slim.
There are some diet pills that work better than others, but there are also some things to be concerned about. Your weight loss goals are the most important factor in considering diet pills. People that are in the obese range should stay away from over-the-counter diet drugs. The first step is getting together with a health care professional to discuss more conventional diets. If pills are prescribed, it is important that they are used under the supervision of a doctor. Lifestyle changes may be necessary to lose the weight and keep it off.
If you are looking to drop just a few pounds, take careful though in buying diet pills. There are a couple of basic functions that weight loss and diet pills attempt to accomplish. They attempt to suppress the appetite, and to make the digestive process more efficient.
The major problem with diet pills is that most of them are unregulated. Physician prescribed pills are monitored by your doctor and the FDA. The monitoring doesn't make the perfect, but makes reporting easier to control. Statistics are evaluated and the drugs are tested to maintain safe standards.
The dangers associated with dieting pills are many. This is not to say that all pills will bring about dangerous side effects, each person will react differently. Side effects can include a feeling of nervousness, increased heart rate, higher blood pressure, and even shakiness. The effects may have a lot to do with the amount of food in your stomach and brain activity.
Some diet pills work by changing the activity in the brain, while others work on the stomach. Your individual case may vary, but the simple recommendations work the same:
* Use common sense. Some advertisements sound too good to be true, and probably are.
* Do the pills follow your weight loss goals? Do they make promises for the long term?
* Do you know anybody who has tried them? Can you find other research on the pills?
* re there other methods for losing weight and controlling your diet?
* Follow directions and usage amounts very carefully. Don't take more than suggested. Even all-natural and herbal diet supplements can have bad reactions on the body.
Whatever you decide largely depends on the weight loss goals you have in mind. Just be careful to cover all of the bases in your decision making process. Gather all the information you can to make sure you are making the right decision. Not all pills work the same for all people. Common sense is the best method of finding the best solution for your needs.
Robb Ksiazek writes and publishes information on healthy diets and body at Body-Mass-Index-4U.com. He believes that taking care of your body now will provide longevity and fulfillment.
The average American eats about twice as much protein than what they require. Some people, in the pursuit of thinness, are going on low-carb diets and are eating up to four times the protein their body needs. Protein deficiency is certainly not a problem in America. So exactly how much protein do you really need? Much less than you think.
Protein is a vital nutrient, essential to your health. In its purest form, protein consists of chains of amino acids. There are 22 amino acids that combine to form different proteins, and 8 to 9 of these must come from the foods we eat. Our body uses these amino acids to create muscles, blood, skin, hair, nails and internal organs. Proteins help replace and form new tissue, transports oxygen and nutrients in our blood and cells, regulates the balance of water and acids, and is essential for making antibodies.
However, too much of a good thing may not be so good for you. Many people are putting their health at risk by eating to much protein. Excessive protein consumption, particularly animal protein, can result in heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, and kidney stones. As important as protein is for our body, there are many misconceptions about how much we really need in our diet, and the best way to obtain it.
According to the American Heart Association and the National Institutes of Health, as little as 50-60 grams of protein is enough for most adults. This breaks down to about 10-12% of total calories. Your body only needs 0.36 grams of protein per pound of body weight. To calculate the exact amount you need, multiply your weight in pounds by 0.36 (if using kilograms, multiply your weight in kilograms by 0.8). This will give you your optimum daily protein requirement in grams. Infants, children, pregnant and nursing women require more protein.
People on low-carb diets are consuming up to 34% of their total calories in the form of protein and up to 53% of total calories from fat. Most of these people are unaware of the amount of protein and fat that is contained in the foods they eat. For instance, a typical 3-ounce beef hamburger, which is small by American standards, contains about 22 grams of protein and 20 grams of fat. You achieve quick weight loss on these diets because of this high fat content.
High fat foods give you the sensation of feeling full, faster, so you end up eating fewer total calories. However, this type of protein and fat combination is not the healthiest. Animal proteins are loaded with cholesterol and saturated fat. Many people on these diets also experience an elevation in their LDL (the bad) cholesterol when they remain on this diet for long periods. High levels of LDL cholesterol in the blood, clog arteries and is the chief culprit in heart disease, particularly heart attack and stroke. So while you may lose weight in the short-run, you are putting your cardiovascular health in jeopardy in the long-run.
Another reason weight loss is achieved on these low-carb diets, at least temporarily, is due to water loss. The increase in the amount of protein consumed, especially from meat and dairy products, raises the levels of uric acid and urea in the blood. These are toxic by-products of protein breakdown and metabolism. The body eliminates this uric acid and urea by pumping lots of water into the kidneys and urinary tract to help flush it out. However, a detrimental side effect of this diuretic response is the loss of essential minerals from the body, including calcium. The high intake of protein leaches calcium from the bones, which leads to osteoporosis.
Medical evidence shows that for every 1 gram increase in animal protein ingested the body loses an average of 1.75 milligrams of calcium in the urine. Additionally, as calcium and other minerals are leached from our bones, they are deposited in the kidneys, which can form into painful kidney stones. If a kidney stone becomes large enough to cause a blockage, it stops the flow of urine from the kidney and must be removed by surgery or other methods.
Plant-based proteins, like beans, legumes and soyfoods, also provide fiber, which helps lowers LDL cholesterol and raises HDL (the good) cholesterol. This prevents the build up of arterial plaque, which leads to atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) and heart disease, thus reducing the risk of heart attack and stroke. The amount and type of protein in your diet also has an important impact on calcium absorption and excretion.
Vegetable-protein diets enhance calcium retention in the body, and causes less calcium excretion in the urine. This reduces the risk of osteoporosis and kidney problems. Interestingly, kidney disease is far less common in people who eat a vegetable-based diet than it is in people who eat an animal-based diet.
By replacing animal protein with vegetable protein, and replacing saturated fat with unsaturated fat (like olive and canola oils), you can avoid the pitfalls of the typical high-protein low-carb diet. You will improve your health and regulate your weight while enjoying a vast array of delicious, nutritionally dense, high fiber foods.
Remember, eat everything in moderation and nothing in excess. Also, the healthy way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat nutritiously and make permanent lifestyle changes that allow you burn more calories than you take in.
Copyright � 2005 Monique N. Gilbert. All rights reserved.
Monique N. Gilbert, B.Sc. is a Health, Nutrition & Lifestyle Coach, Certified Personal Trainer/Fitness Counselor, Recipe Developer, Freelance Writer and Author of Virtues of Soy: A Practical Health Guide and Cookbook. To learn more about Monique's personal coaching program, go to http://www.MoniqueNGilbert.com
*****
Author Bio . . .
Monique N. Gilbert, B.Sc. has offered guidance in natural health, nutrition, fitness, weight-loss and stress management since 1989. Through her coaching and writings, Monique motivates and teaches how to improve your well-being, vitality and longevity with balanced nutrition, physical activity and healthy stress-free living. For more information, visit http://www.MoniqueNGilbert.com
I am embarrassed to admit how many different commercial weight loss programs I've tried. I don't know about you, but after a while I grow tired of talking heads touting empty promises. None of them helped me look the way I think I should and most of them left me agonizing over eating the same foods over and over.
What's a body to do?
In this article I've outline a few different ideas that I've found to really work. Ideas I continue to come back to again and again. Whether you need to lose a few pounds or are looking for a healthy lifestyle change, these 4 solutions will help get you started.
Solution #1: Use Creative Visualization
Creative visualization a great way to bring about lifestyle change. "Seeing" yourself thinner is one of the most successful ways to decrease your body size and improve body image. Guided imagery works by training your mind to stimulate changes within your body.
This can be accomplished using a few of my favorite tools:
Affirmations: Using affirmations will train your mind by stating or affirming your intentions. It will retrain your thinking toward positive thoughts.
When I use affirmations, I like to use positive statements such as these:
MY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE MY BODY!
To increase their effectiveness, I write these messages to myself on an index card or piece of paper and carry them with me. I review them several times throughout the day.
Tapes: If you are an auditory person, you will love the guided imagery and weight loss tapes available from Health Journeys ( http://www.healthjourneys.com ). Their positive learning tapes will walk you through the thought process of building a stronger, leaner body.
Books: One of my favorite positive affirmation books is Love Your Body! By Louise L. Hay. Inside this book, Louise has created affirmations for you. If you read through them each day you are sure to reap the rewards of loving your body.
Solution #2 Try An Herbal Wrap
If you need to lose a few extra pounds, you may want to try an herbal wrap. Herbal wraps help the body lose water and inches. You can get a wrap from your favorite salon however, they tend to be expensive. It's just as easy to give yourself a spa treatment at home. Herbal wrap products are everywhere. If you'd like to get a wrap but prefer the privacy of your own home, check out: http://www.slenderwrap.com
Some of the benefits of herbal wraps include:
* Weight loss
* Water loss
* Decreased inches
* Smoothness of Tissue
Solution #3 Stop When You Are Full
In her book Appetites, Geneen Roth gives us a simple outline to manage portion control. Her two major mantras are: take time to eat and stop when you are full. These are both shape-shifting ideas. To some people, including myself, food is a friend. Therefore the tendency to overeat stems out of emotion; food provides comfort and security. Others are in a hurry. Food and the need to eat are just obstacles that get in the way.
In effort to break free from these unhealthy behaviors, ask yourself several questions:
Am I enjoying what I am eating? Do I eat standing up or on the run? Do I continue to eat even after I know I am full?
Next, begin to carve out time to eat and enjoy food with friends or family. Or to take time to enjoy a nourishing meal even if you are alone. Eat to the point of being full, then stop. Most of the time, weight loss can be easily stimulated through portion control.
Solution #4 Keep a Food Journal
In addition to the aforementioned, it may be wise for you to keep a food journal. By tracking what you eat every day, you hold yourself accountable for everything you place in your mouth. It's simple to start. Record everything you eat for a week and document your weight each week.
At the end of the week take inventory of yourself. Have you gained weight? Lost? Remained the same? If you are gaining weight, simply cut back on your refined sugars (sweets) and heavy carbs like white rice or white potatoes. For these, substitute brown rice or sweet potatoes instead. Track your habits for a second week.
When you've reached the point in your eating program where your weight remains the same, you will need only consume a few less calories (or burn a few extra during exercise) each week to lose weight. Keep in mind: in order to lose weight, your body needs to burn more calories than it consumes. First, find your melting point, then adjust your portion control and exercise program accordingly.
In Conclusion: With just a few adjustments and an enjoyment of food ? recognizing its beauty for nourishing your body - you can shift your focus from frustration to enjoyment. Give these alternatives to weight loss a try. Your health and your waist line will thank you for it.
About The Author
Laura M. Turner is a Certified Personal Trainer and Sr. Editor of the The New Body News and Wellness Letter. Increase your healthy I.Q. Sign up for free: www.new-body-news.com
VioletProsePubs@aol.com
3 Overlooked Ways to Get Hundreds of Links and Prospects to Your Blog
Posted by Serena Labels: BloggingDid you know that there are free ways that you can get links back to your blog overnight? That after a few days they can number in the hundreds?
No matter what you market on the internet at some point you'll face the issue of increasing the number of visitors to your site. What most people don't know is that there are literally hundreds of ways to get free traffic. Here we'll focus on three overlooked ways to get additional traffic to your site using a blog.
The third most overlooked way to bring traffic to your site with a blog is to read and comment on other blogs.
Now, maybe you've done this before but stopped, because you're
becoming concerned about being considered a link-spammer. In
that case, leave a link to your site after your comments, instead of in the comment form that hot links it.
In the near future, blogmasters will be able to use special code to prevent spam in their comments section, so this will become less of a concern.
Besides, getting clicks from people who read comments, or visits from search engine spiders through your comments, isn't necessarily your direct objective, though it's definitely a plus.
What you want to do via commenting is to enter the blog community that corresponds to your target market. Get to know who the players are and make agreements with them to cycle traffic between you.
Or lurk to find out where your target market typically hangs out when they're online ? you'd be surprised at how many inexpensive and targeted advertising sources you can find through this method.
(If you're looking to get linked, there's another way that we'll go over next.)
This tip alone has earned me a few dozen links from prominent blogs in the past four days alone.
These links are worth ten times a reciprocal link because they send targeted traffic from established sources, and come from experts with records of proven results.
You can be sure these kinds of people will check you out before they linked to you, since they may be judged by the quality of the information they share.
The second method to more blog traffic is the most confusing for newer people, and this is probably the reason its benefits remain overlooked.
In the simplest of terms, Trackback is kind of a remote commenting system that incorporates linking. It allows the reader to follow a topic around the web to see other bloggers remark on the same subject. It enables the publisher to remotely cite references to the issue on which they've written.
Once you've made yourself familiar with the blogging community you have entered, you can often pick up the pulse of conversations within your site's theme. Then, when you see issues that you want to expound on, you can send the other site a notification to let them know you cited them on your blog. That link will appear on their site, and often draws visitors to you.
Bloggers who use Trackback often enjoy greater control over
this function in their blogs than they do over linking, as they have the option to reject your reference - so there is a lesser incidence of fraudulent linking. That also gives your link a greater chance of being displayed.
So why don't more people use Trackback?
One reason is that what is arguably the most popular free blog system, Blogger, doesn't have Trackback. However, Haloscan.com can remedy this with their free service ? it's a cut and paste away.
Many new bloggers don't get what it is and how it differs from commenting. And of course, the dynamics of it are a little more complex than I've stated. But learn to use Trackback properly, and you won't need to beg for links to your site ever again.
It's harder to estimate an exact number of visitors that come as a result of trackback links. But if you posted five days out of seven, and was able to get a trackback link to your site three times a week, by the end of the year you'd have almost 150 topical links back to your site, which are more valued by search engines than a typical link trade with an unrelated site.
The most overlooked source of traffic for a blog is through article submission. To start with, turn your longer posts into articles and submitting them to ezines or directories. Look especially for directories that ask for the direct link to the article on your own site, and input the permanent link to the post on your blog.
Make sure that your Auto-Discovery tag is in place and it can mean hundreds more prospects, links and subscribers.
It's a shame this is the one of the least used traffic methods for most sites, let alone for blogs. In four days, this method generated just over 1000 visitors. 157 newsletter leads, 98 new feed subscribers, and 206 links to my site. You may not get these same results right away, but using these simple strategies can still get you more exposure than you have now.
These aren't normally the highest quality links, as they rarely make sure of anchor text. However, bloggers are citing me using Trackback, sometimes in lieu of linking to the site where they originally found the article.
To see this in action, do a search on "Can A Ping Really Help Your Blog Get Top Search Engine Rankings", the title of an article I submitted earlier this week.
That article was published within a week of this one- the results speak for themselves. Many of these sites aren't the ones where my articles are normally published.
There are, of course, plenty of other ways you can leverage the content in your blog or RSS feed to increase the traffic to your site. The methods outlined here may be a bit outside the norm, but, as you'll soon find, that's part of the reason they are so effective.
Copyright © 2005 Tinu AbayomiPaul
Still not blogging yet? Don't quite get RSS? Take the free
course on RSS and blogging at http://www.freetraffictip.com
Business Blogging - 5 Tips to Help You Smash Through Writers Block
Posted by Serena Labels: BloggingIt's inevitable. Everyone hits the wall. Whether you've been blogging ten weeks, ten minutes, or ten months, eventually you'll find yourself with absolutely nothing to say.
Or so you think.
So what in the world do you do when you're stumped?
1- Talk about what you've already talked about
Pick a topic you've gone over before and give it some spin.
Try a new angle, like playing devil's advocate. For example, if you are a search engine journalist, and last week your position was that most mainstream sites need Google traffic to survive, try proving your point from the "con" perspective, instead of the "pro" position.
There are dozens of ways to write about the same thing. By putting your point another way, you might give someone in your audience what a client of mine referred to as an "Ah-ha!" moment. That's when they realize the true value of the items for sale at your site to them and their business.
2- Talk about what someone else is talking about
If you want to have a popular blog, find other bloggers in similar areas, and talk about what they said in their posts. Friendly debate can often spark the soap-opera like drama that will have both your audiences visiting both blogs to see what "the other fella" had to say.
As an added bonus, if both of you are using Trackback in your blogs, you've got yourself a mini-link party that other people who are speaking on similar topics will want to join..
3- Have yourself a good rant
The intimate nature and voice of blogs lends itself well to the opinionated, angry ramble. But as a professional, don't let yourself get too unfocused, and remember to back up your opinion with facts.
4- Feature someone, something or somewhere
I like to call mine "of the Day".
As I zip around the Net conducting my business and research, if my attention is called to a resource or tool that my audience might find useful, I hit my blog bookmarklet and save that bad boy for later.
Then when I get too busy for a full blown tip, I'll crown the resource, feed, tool, download or freebie the featured "Deal of the Day", changing the word deal to something else more appropriate as needed.
After a while, my audience started to look for it as a feature, as opposed to being upset at the interruption in my mad, mad rambles.
5- Let someone else talk for a change
Invite a guest blogger, or post an article that offers free reprint rights, the same way you would in a newsletter. Of course you want to leave the resource box intact, or let the guest promote their site, which brings me to the most common complaint about this tactic.
"But I don't want to send people away from my site."
Guess what? You'll never believe what I found out. Ready?
In a recent startling discovery, I've found that 100% of my visitors eventually turn off their computers or take otherwise drastic measures that cause them to leave my site. Apparently this is beyond prevention, though you can stall them for hours sometimes with good content.
Of course you don't want to send them on their way prematurely, but if you're a good blogger, and have done what you can to make sure they sign up to your blog email updates or site feed, they'll be back. Just be sure that you're giving them a good enough reason.
In the meantime, since they're going to leave anyway, it might as well be somewhere that gives you some direct or in-direct benefit.
So there you have it - enough material for five more days of posts.
Happy Blogging!
Need more than five days worth of blog posts? Get more at http://www.freetraffictip.com/blogaboutthis .or learn more about blogs and RSS at FreeTrafficTip.com .
A blog is a simple tool which all affiliate marketers should be utilising to explode their affiliate sales.
I set up my blog in about 15 minutes at http://www.blogger.com it's a completely free service, and it's really easy to set-up. I followed directions on an excellent article on getting a new website listed in Google in 48hrs check it out here, http://www.scamfreezone.com/gg/. I just followed the advice in the article and got started with no problems in no time.
I've been doing a lot of research with regards to blogging and came across a case of a 19 year old kid who was making something ridiculous like $50,000 a year with a blog on mobile phones, from his bedroom! So clearly there is a good earning potential through blogs, but they do take time to grow and build up a readership. Treat your blog as a marathon not a sprint, because it will take time.
Blogs provide a very simple, quick and easy means to add fresh content to your website. As I'm sure you've heard many times over 'content is king' in the search engines eyes and if you can provide high quality, regularly updated content your website should benefit with regards to your search engine ranking.
By providing fresh, high quality relevant content you will gain an increase of both first time visitors and repeat visitors, they will come back to check out your new content. Providing it's interesting, relevant and useful to them. You will begin to build relationships with your readers, increasing your credibility and building their trust in you.
These repeat visitors will be exposed to your messages more and begin to trust you and your recommendations. This in turn will fuel sales and referrals. Just make sure you don't recommend a product you haven't tried because if it is bad you will lose all credibility!
Never recommend something you haven't tried and tested your self.
You want to send traffic directly to your blog, do it through multi-dimensional strategies. Have a subscriber box for your newsletter to build your list from your blog. Use it as an exit pop-up from your main site or thank you page for new subscribers, directing them to relevant content immediately. As once your prospects have got to know you through the blog they are much more likely to explore your website and check out whatever you are offering.
Whenever you sign-up for an affiliate program or buy a product, review it in your blog and be brutally honest, your readers will love you for it. Take a completely unbiased view point and talk about both the positives and negatives of each product. In essence you are providing more of an insight into the product than the sales page itself, almost a sample, this will help convert those prospects that are 'sitting on the fence' so to speak. Obviously when you review your affiliate products, make sure that you use your affiliate links.
It has been shown that prospects are 7-10 times more likely to buy from a blog recommendation than from other sources!
Other ways that you can generate extra income through your blog are through the Google ad sense program, selling banner/link space as your traffic increases or as I mentioned earlier by adding you own opt-in sign up form to which you send your newsletter or other targeted offers.
Your blog can be syndicated using RSS, which I won't go into here, that's another article. But savvy webmasters can use your blog content on their web pages. This benefits them as they have regularly updated fresh content for their website and benefits you through increased exposure and free targeted traffic.
Be passionate about your blog, love your blog. If you do not then it will become obvious through your posts and you are unlikely to be anywhere near as successful as you could be.
Add to your blog regularly provide good quality content and reviews and you will be on your way to blogging success.
"A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one at all would find fault with what he has done". -- Cardinal Newman
Get that blog started today!
(Feel free to use this article online and in your email newsletters as long as you leave it intact and do not alter it in anyway. The byline and biography must remain in the article.)
Copyright © Ian Canaway
Ian Canaway is a home business entrepreneur and the owner of http://www.asuccesfullhomebusiness4u.com and also a home business based blog at http://www.ahomebusinessblog4u.blogspot.com; providing high quality information and resources. Check us out Now!
The world has seen the emergence of a new style of journalism, based on a 'raw feed' directly from the source. And the common notion that surrounds the emergence of serving 'raw feed' is that the journalists testing the new waters are bound to wreak havoc on institutionalized media.
Also a popular notion is that Weblogs changes the nature of 'news' is in the migration of information from the personal to the public. Unquestionable, a blog is a medium that gives maximum exposure to one's creativity. Just by hitting the 'post' button and any personal writing becomes published writing.
Weblogging is driving a powerful new form of amateur journalism. Today, millions of Net users - young people especially - have taken up the role of columnist, reporter, analyst and publisher while fashioning their own personal broadcasting networks.
For the inexperienced, a blog consists of a running commentary with pointers to other sites. Some, like Librarian.net, Jim Romenesko's Media News or Steve Outing's E-Media Tidbits, cover entire industries by providing quick bursts of news with links to full stories.
Journalism and blogging together is becoming popular day by day, more than any other form of blogging. Following reasons are considered to extensively contribute to its increasing popularity:
Creative Freedom
Part of a blog's allure is its unmediated quality. For a journalist, there's no luxury like the luxury of publishing unedited essay. The freedom in being able to present yourself precisely as you want to is of enormous joy. It does not matter how sloppily, irrationally or erratically the content is written. The idea is to publish what you think in the way you think.
Instantaneity
To a few writers, even writing for a weekly magazine may seem like taking ages to print. With a Weblog, you hit the send key and it is out.
Interactivity
It is a kick to receive feedback from people who have taken interest to read and criticize your work. These are the people you have never heard of; who stumble on your Weblog and become a part of your thinking process.
Lack Of Marketing Constraints
When blogging it is not necessarily to tailor a work piece for a certain readership or demographic. People interested in a perspective finds its author - the blogger, instead of the blogger finding a publication that reflects people's interests.
Most of the time, the Weblogs tend to be less about actual reporting and more about analysis and punditry and opinionated commentary. The 9/11 terrorist attacks fuelled the public's appetite for information, analysis and news, if only to make sense of the tragedy. Bloggers rose to prominence by feeding this desire.
Blogging has taken off in remarkable fashion; in a way, it has made good where newsgroups have failed. It has kept the promise that the Internet would provide real community to Web surfers. Tuning in to some of the newsgroups devoted to the terror attacks; one may sometimes feel to be in the middle of a verbal war zone with so much noise passing for informed discussion.
Weblogs run from single person operation to large teams and communities, to business organizations spread throughout the world. They offer a great way for readers to find constantly updated news and information. It also allows authors to connect to thousands of readers in a personal way and add the honest, unedited voice of thousands to increasingly commercializing Web.
The plethora of tools that helps managing the weblog capitalizes on the ease of publishing posts to even greater extent.
These are probably the reasons why they have been widely adopted and maintained - for several years in some cases.
Gunnar Berglund has been a "internet- hardworker" for the last five years He publishes The meonit Gazette http://gazette.meonit.com and run http://www.meonit.com and http://www.visualxmleditor.com
Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards
Posted by Serena Labels: ParentingOne of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.
In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.
For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don't work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.
For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.
This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.
Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, "We got a D in that class."
I've thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don't share. What I do say is, "Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?"
The point is that at some time - the earlier the better - school must become more important to your child than it is to you.
Having laid out these two basic principles, let's look at some solutions for handling a less than exciting report card.
1) You'll want to meet with the teacher of a class in which your child has done poorly. You should ask the teacher: What he thinks might be in the way of your child doing well in this subject; does she think your child has the tools to do well in this class; how are other kids of equal ability doing in this class; what does he recommend your child (notice, not we) do to improve in this class?
2) Learn how to read a report card. There is much more information there than just grades. There's also conduct and attendance to check out. Look for patterns. If your kid got a good grade and great conduct in one class and poor grades and bad conduct in another, take a look at what the differences are between those two classes. Obviously, the child has the ability in one class. What's in the way in the other?
3) Often kids will blame the teacher. "She doesn't like me!" This is an opportunity to teach real-world living in which not all people, bosses included, are going to like you. At the same time, you still need to know how to do well in a situation, even when there are people who don't like you.
4) Here's a little trick of the trade: Determine which class comes right before your child's lunch period. If grades, attendance and conduct are significantly different after lunch than before, the next question is what's happening at lunch that is getting in the way?
5) Make two copies of your child's report card _ one for you and one for your child. Draw a horizontal line to the right of each letter grade. Next to the end of that line, write the next letter grade up. For example, if the grade is an F, write a D. If it's a D, write a C, and so on. These one-step-up grades are the goals for the next grading period.
This may sound like settling for less, but it really is not. It gives your child a manageable goal to reach. Over a couple of grading periods, this strategy can move low grades to high grades. If they go higher than the goal, then that's a good thing. If they go lower than the goal, it's time for some consequences.
6) It's been my experience that grounding a kid for the entire grading period is in most cases counterproductive. For adults, nine weeks is not that long. For kids, however, it's forever, and you get rapidly diminishing returns.
Instead, start with strong consequences, and then as effort, behavior and grades improve, let the rope out a little at a time, just enough for them to grow themselves.
It's also useful to link grades to something that is important to them. As one father said to me last year, "In our family, Ds don't drive."
For more leading edge tips and tools for back to school success, you are invited to visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's BacktoSchoolSuccess.com
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller families is that we now have a generation of parents who are willing to go to enormous lengths to give their children a good start in life.
In the rush to ensure that children have a maximum amount of experiences many parents ferry children from one lesson to another after school and on weekends. This busyness of life takes its toll on children and on families as homes are required to run like clockwork and meals are thrown down between lessons. "To hell with shared mealtime I have to pick up little Jessica from tennis lessons and drop her off at ballet classes" is the mantra of many modern parents.
The self-improvement industry for children is currently thriving, with a staggering variety of programs on offer to children from as young as three. Ballet classes, music lessons, and toddler gymnastics ? the lessons go on. Don't worry if your children become stressed attending all these lessons. There are stress management classes available to help them relax and unwind. We pay quite a price for keeping our kids busy for the sake of getting a winning edge!
Parents are well versed in the knowledge that early childhood is an important developmental stage for children. Positive early experiences influence how a child see him or herself and, as teachers know, assist greatly with the learning process once they start school. But parents need to be careful not to confuse an early start with a good start and place too much pressure on children at a young age. Pull back rather than push ahead is a message we need to send to the parents of today's pressure-cooker kids.
It also seems that many parents are in danger of becoming redundant as they are outsourcing much of their parenting to experts. Parents need to have a little faith that the time that they spend with young children is actually beneficial in giving them the good start in life that they are looking for. The recent trend for primary aged children to have a personal trainer (I kid you not!) to ensure they stay fit and healthy is an example of parents taking this outsourcing too far. It seems that it would be more beneficial for the whole family to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle, than hire a trainer to give kids a workout.
So why does the move to smaller families place pressure on parents and children? Parenting is something that is learned from experience. With families reducing in size the pressure is on for parents to get their parenting right from the start ? there is little opportunity to grow into the job.
It is timely to remember that a good start for children involves plenty of positive adult attention and regard, consistency of approach, the development of the skills to look after themselves, and the wherewithal to help others. These are all things that parents are well qualified to do.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?
Posted by Serena Labels: Parenting
Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how well-behaved our kids or placid and patient we are. At times the general strains and stresses of life wear us down so our emotional responses don't match children's behaviours. Or rather, their less than perfect behaviour doesn't warrant the 'screaming banshee' response that you have provided.
So what do you do if you have blown your top and given your children an absolute verbal blast with steam coming out of both your ears?
First, check that your rare outburst of anger is just that ? rare. If you are always angry or over-reacting then this is a fair sign that all is not right with you. I don't want to state the bleeding obvious, but constant sudden outbursts of anger are a sign that all is not right with the world. It may mean taking a break, getting some additional help with your kids or even getting some professional counselling to sort out internal or relationship issues.
If your outburst is rare rather than pathological then the best response is to show your children that your are human and apologise. Put a little time between your outburst and your apology and consider giving an explanation. "Sorry about yelling at you guys. I have been working so hard lately. I guess I need a break."
No need to grovel, just reveal your human side to your family. Your children will take their cues from you and will more than likely talk on an emotional level if they see you go to the same space. Revealing your vulnerability gives children permission to reveal theirs.
It is a good anger management practice to check your own anger levels from time to time. When you know you are under stress and feel yourself about to blow your top- take a break, phone someone up (and vent your spleen, if possible), or just to count to 20 (or 100) before you blow your stack unnecessarily to your kids.
There is a place for parent anger in the discipline process ? as long as it is controlled. There are the times when children really need to know they have crossed a line and your whole voice and attitude needs to convey that a behaviour is unacceptable. Most parents will know the type of response I am referring to. The voice goes steely and the words come out purposefully. Eye contact is strong and body language is direct. The kids aren't frightened. They just know that that their mum or dad mean what they say! Gulp! It is the type of response that should be saved for times when children put each other down unmercilessly, or when they show gross disrespect to themselves, others or their environment.
We all want to steer clear from angry responses when we interact with those we love. But being human means that our behaviour doesn't always reach the lofty heights that we would like, and at times we lose our cool. So recognise the signs of pending anger and take steps to manage it, and if you do lose the plot, reveal your vulnerability and apologise. Nothing wrong with that!
Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of Love
Most moms appreciate being acknowledged, but many still feel overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life. They would like to fit more time with their children into their busy schedules, but don't know how.
The solution may be easier than you imagine.
The most important thing you can do for your child is to create and nurture a strong, loving relationship between the two of you.
Here are 17 easy ways to strengthen your connection with your child:
The good news is: they don't take much time.
Sweet dreams. For a free e-book, "How to Get the Best from Your Children," and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: www.feelgoodparenting.com. Pat and Larry Downing of Asheville, NC, have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child." Copyright © 2005 by Patricia Downing PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link. |
Some experts urge parents to look at the work they do around the home, such as cleaning, cooking, maintenance, auto care, laundry, and shopping, to see whether they could do some of these tasks with their children. Working together on even the most mundane chores, or just relaxing together, may offer parents the time they need to keep open the lines of communication and provide a positive example.
Talk
Talk about your day, their day, what you are going to do, what you are seeing on the street, what they are watching on television, what they like to do, your childhood, their relatives, their toys.
Play
Sit with them while they play, and talk to them about what they are doing.
Listen
Look at their faces when they are telling you something. If it seems important to them, stop what you are doing and sit down with them to hear it.
Quiet Time
Sit with them while they watch TV (this can be painful but important) or while they are getting ready for bed.
Share
Invite them to do something or go somewhere with you, to show you enjoy their company.
These examples give us a variety of ways to spend time with our children. We can join them in what they are doing, invite them to join in what we are doing, or do something alongside them, in parallel, talking together or just being quiet together.
Special Time for Each One.
Each child in the family needs to have special time with each parent. It doesn't have to be a vast amount of time, or have to happen every day. But each of our children is different, and will want to have a chance to be alone with each of us. When you get right down to it sibling rivalry is competition for the parents' attention. Individual "special" time given to each child can lead to a lot less fighting among them.
Christian parents have other work that they will want to do with their children at their sides. Christian meetings, the ministry, family Bible study, association with fellow believers—all of these provide parents crucial time to be with their children. When it comes to spending time with their children, they must resist easy answers. The old saying, “It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality,” does not apply in child rearing. Especially during their formative years, children need not only special time but also just “together” time.
How Do We Know that Children Need So Much Time?
- The more you give, the more they want.
- If they don't get it, they behave badly to try to get it.
Our children will need us, love us and want us more than we can imagine. We give them their sense of belonging, and security. Children can crave this so much that when it's not given naturally and spontaneously, they will behave in what ever ways they think they have to in order to get it.
As it is generally understood, quality time usually involves scheduling some time to spend with a child, often with a specific activity in mind—a special outing, for instance, such as a trip to the zoo. Clearly, the notion has merit. Children need any special attention they can get. However, the popular concept of quality time has some drawbacks that are becoming more obvious to experts in child care.
Apparently, many busy, career-oriented parents have adopted the beguiling notion that spending a structured, scheduled bit of time with a child will take care of all the child’s needs for parental attention. Thus, the New York Daily News quotes Dr. Lee Salk, a professor at Cornell University Medical School in the United States, as saying: “The concept of quality time is nonsense.” He explains: “The term has grown out of parental guilt. People were giving themselves permission to spend less time with their children.”
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?
For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don't know. My point in all of this is how important this really is.
The term "spending time with your child" gets tossed out there fairly casually. We hear it so often that after awhile we may not take it as seriously as we should. There's no getting away from this simple truth. If you do not give them very much of your time, talking, laughing, playing, and sharing things or just generally being around listening to and enjoying them, how can they possibly get any other message than that they are not worthy of your love, time, and attention? How can they then progress to love themselves if they perceive that you always put yourself and others first, before them, and that they are apparently incidental to your life, even that they are a nuisance?
Please note that I said "they perceive". What a child perceives is not always accurate. But to a child perception is reality. If they think this is how you feel, then to them, this is how you feel. This is why I think the time you spend with your child is so important. I know how much you love your child. You know how much you love you child. What's so critical is does your child know how much you love your child? Our children need us to be interested in them and to demonstrate our love for them by spending time with them right through adolescence.
“Listen, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah. And you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force. And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. And you must tie them as a sign upon your hand, and they must serve as a frontlet band between your eyes; and you must write them upon the doorposts of your house and on your gates."--Deuteronomy 6:4-9
I went to Mid Valley Megamall for some grocer shopping today with my hubby. That was a BIG mistake! I mean it is the holiday season now with Chinese New Year just around the corner and Mid Valley being one of the tourist's spot as well, was jammed packed with people today. Imagine with thousands if not millions of square feet of area, walking can still be a problem.
Like shopping at Carrefour with the trolley, so much of a traffic jam. The trolleys keep on bumping into other customers and got stuck at the narrow aisles. It was like a war zone today at the hypermarkets.Before we can even enter in to the shopping market, there is the problem finding a parking space. Nevertheless, after a few rounds of circling at the car park, we did find one at the far end of a corner.
What would normally take us half an hour took us almost 3 hours to accomplish today. Phew! Shopping deserves a medal during festive seasons!
ChatnChill
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How about that huh?!! :D Wow, more than $ 1500! Duh, I am a RICH lady now! Anyone wants to "buy" my blog? ;D Seriously though, a close friend said that my blog here is overloaded. :( I agree but just don't know how to "condense" it or to make this more "targeted" so to speak...Any ideas? Feel free to contact me.
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn't happen like that. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why?
For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby's nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison.
Yeah, and if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard too! Wake up! If you're dreaming of that kind of a soulmate, then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love doesn't go like that and you know better. Look at it this way.... You are the other half of that equation. Let's be serious. If you are someone's soulmate, and they find you. Are you capable of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of course not. Nor are they. Soulmates are as mixed up and weird as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don't have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being, warts and all.
Yes, I do believe that there are extremely rare cases where one 'feels' or 'knows' there is a certain person they are meant to find and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They are doomed to hunt for that needle in a hay stack. But let's get serious, that isn't the norm. We have all heard so much about soulmates that we just think it would be really cool. Well it's not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your life lonely and searching. Don't do it. Find real love with real people.
Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you're too old to make love anymore. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you're screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don't define them. Don't imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don't predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you'll be worthy of them when they show up.
When you go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your soulmate, ask the heavens to help you to be open minded and to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling of their essence so that you'll recognize it when you see them for real. How does it feel to be with them? If you had a perfect ideal partner, you wouldn't be able to relax and be yourself because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches your level of development so that you can grow together. You don't want to have a partner who is in every way superior to you because they're perfect and you're only human do you?
Unless you can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you really shouldn't use the term. It will only bring you loneliness and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don't obsess over it. What is meant to be will be whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it's own perfect time.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
